What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
This toilet bowl is my home.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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