i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Princesses don't give blow jobs
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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