I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
