Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Just took my morning after pill in the library
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Randomize
