her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
