On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
