Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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