I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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