I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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