i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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