apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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