...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
She even gives head with a lisp.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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