I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Found your dick twin last night
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
