how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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