do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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