She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize