community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
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