Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Randomize
