Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
We left an ass print on the piano.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
