I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
