i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I don't deserve a penis
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
