if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
