I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
