I accidentally burped into my bong.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize