We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
