Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
