this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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