her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
ttyl tear gas
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize