I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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