the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
