I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
