Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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