So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
