Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
