I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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