the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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