i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
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