Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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