Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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