Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Randomize
