I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
