I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
