Got a toothbrush?
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
