took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
