Your tits are I can't wait for
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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