Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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