We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Even my vagina gasped.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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