You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
