Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
