I am puke
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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