I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
FUCK WHALES
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
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