You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Randomize