my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
