I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize