I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
