sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
