was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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