I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Randomize