I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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