i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
