chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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