I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
