You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
