No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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