i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize