Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
did i walk over a car last night?
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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