a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
