Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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