I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
