My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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