break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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