so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Randomize
