yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
