sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize