Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
